How to and Should I be the bigger person?
22:05
For all of you who have met someone annoying or interacted with someone whom you just don't like at all, what do you do? The obvious is to leave the person and stop interacting with them. The question is, what happens when this is not an option? What if the person happens to be your lecturer (that you still have to see for another 3 semesters), or maybe it's your relative, could be your neighbour (that you know won't be moving anywhere in another 20 years)
The world is filled with so many people with different kind of personality, some that you might like, some you might not. It's just like pancakes, some people like chocolate, some like strawberry and there are some who like it plain. As the surrounding, culture, family and background is what make a person at the end, there is basically no chance of having two people with the exact same attitude, belief, verbiage and personality. And as the differences of these factors increase, the end result will also be very different. So what do I mean by that? Let me give you some quick examples:
- Do you let people come out of the lift before entering first?
- Do you lift your hand as a gesture when people give you way on the road?
- Is everyone gathered first before starting a meal? Or everyone just eats at whatever time they are convenient?
- Does the passenger go down from the car to pay parking ticket or use the GPS so the driver can focus?
I'm sure just after the few questions mentioned above, everyone will have different answers to it. There is basically no right or wrong, it's just your way or my way. Many a times, a person will perceive his/her own ways of dealing with things as "the correct way". So when everyone deals with different situation differently, people may find other people "wrong".
As much as I wish for the world to be much more nicer, it is just so common to come across someone who is self-centered, insensitive, two-faced, selfish, rude or someone who is without values. You are so frustrated sometimes because you cannot understand how can people act this way and be this unreasonable. There is just no way that you can accept what the person just did. You get angry, irritated and you lose focus to what you have to do at the first places because your head won't stop replaying what the person did or said to you.
Especially when you enter the society, you'll start asking why on earth did I learn Geography, History or even Mathematics back in school. They should have taught us "How to deal with the 9999999 types of people in the world"! However the reality is, there is no academy for you to learn all these. It's called the interpersonal skills. So how can you get better at it you may ask? Well I guess the easiest (and also the hardest) way is by experiencing it.
I used to live in my own bubble world or some called the greenhouse when I was younger. I imagined the world to be a beautiful world with nice people who compliment you when you had a good hair day or congratulate you when you win a medal in a story telling competition. However later I found out, some people just wished that the discipline teacher would catch you and cut off some of your hair because "it's against the approved length" or they just wished that you would forgot your lines so there would be one lesser competitor.
Some people shared with me that I should give these people a taste of their own medicine. If they cut you when you talk, do the same! So to let them know how it feels when this happens. If they are loud and say insensitive things about you, do the same! Find even more things to say about the person so the person would shut up! Yes, I'm not gonna lie. I've thought about these things. I mean who dares to admit that you do not have a single bit of anger inside of you that you want to get back at the person? BUT, that's where your own beliefs come in. You have to ask yourself, what will I gain after acting this way? I know! I'll get my revenge and satisfaction. Yes, you might get all these. But what about after that? I think the possible thing that will happen is that you'll regret because that is just not who you are. You will question yourself- "So did I just turn into x who likes to act like this?" This might just make the world a little worse that it already is.
For me, I think the way that I was brought up was to try to be a moderate person instead of an extreme person. Stand up for what you believe but not fight blindly for what you think you deserve. There are times that I feel like losing it and just let it all out. But of course, in many places it is not ethically permissible. So I turn this into another form-writing, After finishing this piece. I'm going to get a good shower and forget about all these. Tomorrow is a new day isn't it? There are much more other beautiful things that you should put your attention to.
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| I forgive you :) |
To end this post, I would like to share this quote below:
"Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got."
-- Robert Brault
1 comments
Interesting.Sometimes the best way to deal with different kind of personalities is to simply live in your own way. The more you care for others, the more you get influenced by them. Cheers Melissa!
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